I have been debating writing this post for a while now – I feel like getting back together with an ex is quite a tabooed thing and no matter what the circumstances it can be a very risky thing. It can either go one of two ways: the past will constantly haunt you until you crack and it ends in tears all over again and everything seemed pointless, or the past will be forgotten and you know that the relationship feels right and it’s real. Obviously everyone in this situation wants the outcome to be the latter but sadly that is sometimes not the case and it’s hard all over again but that’s what life is and there is nothing wrong with you if that does happen.
As you have probably guessed, me and my ex who I briefly mentioned in a blog post a couple of months ago got back together. I know I’m not the only one who has had this happen again and if you’re in a similar situation or have been in the past then I want to try and help by sharing with you guys five things I have learnt by getting back together with Jake. Obviously all relationships are completely different and move at different paces and vary with regards to how serious they are so some of these might not work for you personally but I hope on the whole they do and even if this post helps just one person then its worth it.
- You realise the mistakes you made the first time around and make more of an effort to correct them – The first night we got back together we had a serious talk for about 3 hours if not a little longer. You both learn the mistakes me the first time around and learn to right the wrongs. That first weekend we spent back together I think we spoke more than we had during about 2 months of the relationship previously (like deep conversations). Our issue was communication as I know i didn’t want to piss him off and I am very emotional so he didn’t want to upset me, but when it came to giving our relationship another go we both knew we couldn’t tip toe around. Our communication is what failed us before and it wasn’t going to happen again.
- It feels right having him around – I was okay on my own during the time we weren’t together but something felt like it was missing. I didn’t want to admit it was him but sometimes your gut knows best and having him back I know for certain it was him that was missing (as cheesy and cliched as that sounds!)
- This time round its completely different – its almost as if we have started a whole new relationship, much like number 1, this relationship isn’t the same as the one before. Yes it’s with the same person but we’re both doing things differently now.
- Communication is more important than it was before – the main reason we broke up was communication so this one is key for us. You need to stop worrying about if saying something is going to upset your other half because if its bugging you its going to fester and build up. Get it out in the open when its small and work on it together otherwise the relationship will go downhill again.
- Be open to the future – whatever that might be for you – I honestly didn’t think we were going to get back together, no matter how much I wanted us to I didn’t think we were. The future isn’t set in stone but you need to roll with what is happening right now to set up what you want to happen to the best of your ability. There are so many times recently that Jake has made me the happiest person which just goes to show that us giving it another go was the right thing.
Do you have any lessons you’ve learnt getting back with an ex? Or rekindling a friendship or relationship of any kind? Let me know in the comments!